ITS WELCOME TO OUR OLD FRIENDS
‘WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?’
It isn’t a welcome, really, is it? They both turn up, uninvited, unwanted and a pesky nuisance as well, but turn up they do, whenever you are about to do something different, big, or important. Or sometimes just get out of bed and get on with your day. Why do we let them in? They only make us feel inferior.
‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’
Yet we seem to give ourselves consent quite often.
One way to deal with this is
- Stop for a moment.
- NOTICE the feelings, the emotions at the time. What are they exactly? Really feel them and make them BIG, bring them out into the open, in the spot light. Turn them around, look at them and perhaps notice the emotions change to something else. For example, fear can also be excitement. Dread can be trepidation.
- ACKNOWLEDGE your feelings. Sense what they are but also why they are there, and admit to them, but also accept them and their origins. This could be from repeated occasions in your past, other people’s expectations of you, past expectations of yourself. These feelings are yours and yours alone, so only you can deal with them, control them, and manage them.
- Let it go! That is right, when you know the feelings or emotions, know where they have come from, looked at them and truly acknowledge why they are there, you can then accept but let go, because you don’t need them. They get in your way. Put them in their place, wherever that is. On a cloud, in a boat, on a train, anywhere. Use guided imagery to help (I can help you with this if need be). Just GET RID.
- Get on with the task in hand.
It sounds simple, and it is, but it isn’t also. It takes practice, but most of all you have to want to do it.
You have to want to be successful, positive, whatever, before you can do this. You have to work at it. practice, and also (and I think this is good, in an odd way) be prepared for it to be fluid. You can get into a place with no self- doubt, and then one day whoosh, its gone (or its back, whichever way you look at it) or you feel a little doubt seeping in; so what! Just do it again, because you know, and I know that once it’s gone, it will go again. You are in control of your feelings, of your doubt, so manage it. Do not let it manage you!
When I sat down to write this, I was full of focus etc, but then, it started…..
‘It’s not only going around Church Fenton you know, it’s not just Tadcaster or Selby. Oh no, you choose to put it out on the World Wide Web!! Just who do you think you are? As if anyone will read it (but you are, dear reader, you are and I thank you). As if you are an expert on anything! What do you know?’
Yes, these thoughts where loud and clear, from out of no-where. So how did this come to be posted:
I listened, I noticed the anxiety of failure, the trepidation of humiliation, but also the fear of success, oh yes, and that is in there too. However, when I really unpicked it there was the fear, real fear, of looking stupid.
I acknowledged these feelings. I know where they come from (I will not share my issues with you, but it took a boat- load of therapy to accept them), I know why they are there and how they can be useful as well as destructive. I went back to my time as a young child and re visited the feelings, but with different outcomes, (hypnotherapy is amazing for this). It took me a little while to do this, but then I…
Let go, and this is the result. I know where I am; this is just my opinion. I know I have seen so much success with this method with my clients, and it always amazes me and I feel so blessed to be able to help people. I am a good person, I am kind, caring and loving, and I am happy to share anything and everything I know to help others. So let it go and just Be. If no one reads this, I have enjoyed writing it, so that is great in itself.
Love and blessings